How To Bounce Back After A Major Disappointment

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Facing disappointment in life falls into the same category as bills and death, its a certainty. People face disappointments daily for example, not making it to work on time, not losing as much weight after putting out great effort or someone not showing up to an event that you invited them to. It’s all pretty standard stuff, until its not, because every once in a while a disappointment comes along and it completely shatters your world, either someone disappoints you, or you disappoint yourself. I came across this meme on Instagram a week ago that said “It only hurts when I breathe” and I thought to myself, I have to add something on the blog addressing major disappointments.With our luck no one will be around to hold our hands and coach us through this battle but this post will highlight 5 key things to do when dealing with a huge disappointment.

Step 1. Accept

Yes, it happened and its not a bad dream. Coming to terms quickly and being honest about what has transpired aids with the “moving forward flow”. This step is important because the sooner that you can come to terms with the disappointment is the sooner that you can evaluate and identify your real feelings about the state that you are in. Acceptance is an important step but also the hardest step of the five because of control. We live our lives everyday believing that we control almost everything when in reality we only control two things 1- what we do and 2- how we think.

Step 2. Take off your clothes  

No, not literally but figuratively. Take off your old clothes, the clothes that has been drenched with regret, sadness, shame and disappointment. We have learned how to carry negative emotions so well that it has become the norm to “tuck it away” as opposed to dealing with it head on. We don’t sleep, eat or start our day in dirty clothes so why start your day in these “dirty emotions”. Take off those burdensome feelings even for 20 minutes, take a long bath (yes you can cry) as you undress you may associate each article of clothing with something you would like to let go of. Begin the process of forgiveness; offer forgiveness to the disappointment and more importantly forgiveness to yourself.

Step 3. Dig and Indulge

Now that you are clean and vulnerable, It is time to Dig and indulge, but not into food. Open your memory and dig; dig for the happiest memories that you can find and indulge in them. Where was your favorite childhood place or memory? Your favorite snack in high school? your favorite park? your favorite song? favorite fragrance? Or maybe you can try to find a long lost friend. Take a step back, Pamper yourself and indulge. Whenever you feel lost or insufficient, indulge in your memories.

Step 4. Dress up

Often times when dealing with challenging situations we ignore our outward appearance because we spend so much time in our own heads. We shower then drag on any old cloth in arms reach, and were out! At this point we say to ourselves, it doesn’t matter what other people think about how I look because I am dealing with a crisis! wrong move, this is actually the time that you should take the time to put yourself together, treat yourself with care. Wear things that are comfortable, things that make you feel your best. Dressing up will give you a positive presence, and people will respond to you positively and this will help your overall mood.

Step 5. Time 

Time is mandatory when you are trying to heal from a huge let down.  Time is how we allow ourselves to heal. Think about a falling and hurting your knees, does it heal immediately? No it doesn’t, you will have to wash and disinfect and add a Band-Aid, the final step is allowing it to heal. Allow your heart to heal and your mind to be at peace. The only job you have in the “Time” process is to be patient. I like to reminisce about the time that I believed my life was at its worse, I use that moment to compare to the current crisis. I ask myself is it as bad as “that bad time” 98% of the time the answer is no and this means you will make it out ok. As for that other 2% where the crisis is so major that you feel helpless and there is no comparison - you live each day by putting one foot in front of the other slowly but consistently. Follow these 5 steps and it will become a little easier every day.

~ I promise.