Photo by Marina Lima on Unsplash

Happy 30th birthday!!!!!  My dad often says "you know you are really getting old when your age falls off the calendar"  We have been ageing since the moment we were born so why the big fuss about thirty? I can't lie was very eager to get to 18, 21, even 25  but at around 28 the excitement slowly began to turn into fear and it all originated from one question - what am I doing with my life? This one question was the opening of Pandora's box. Your 30s can be a confusing time but here are a few things I've learned so far about my 30s that I can share with you - just in case you are already 30 (you are not alone) or if you are just approaching 30 (Welcome grasshopper).

1. Your mentality will change (don't freak out): You will discover the difference between the things you really like and the things you only tolerate, and with that said your tolerance will become low for the things you don't enjoy.

2. Comfort will move higher on your must-have list: I remember going to parties and only standing for 15 minutes and thinking to myself  "oh my god, my feet already hurt"  I wanted all the fun but I slowly started to dread attending events where I would be required to wear heels and stand for long periods of time, I was once invited to a fancy dinner where someone other than the host had the nerve to say to me"this is a dressy event so make sure you put on some heels, and not kitten heels". I was livid, but most of all I was embarrassed. But I used this opportunity to evaluate what was important to me -The host yes, so I attended the event. The person that approached me with her opinion about my shoe choices no, so I wore my tiny heels, I was comfortable and had a great time. - The end.

3. You start thinking more about your credit score: During your 20s some people have already started their journey with credit, we've all heard the horror stories but it's never enough to keep us from maxing out our credit cards. In my late 20s I stopped hiding from my credit and started to look at it all the time. At 30 I started to engage more in programs that offered a more comprehensive approach on how to use credit to my advantage.

4. You will be tired, all the dang time: This is one of the biggest things about 30, you need rest, and you may even need a rest from taking a rest. Your body will begin to really feel the effects of ageing, and your recovery period will not be as short as it used to be in your 20's. Your metabolic rate will not be the same and while most people notice this change at 30 experts say this actually starts in your 20s. This will spark the "let's eat and live healthier" Phase and no need to worry because you are not alone here.

5. Your relationship with your parents will begin to change:  Your parents have always been on your back, "study hard", "do your chores", "walk this way or talk that way", but now that relationship is changing. Firstly, you have a deeper understanding of mortality, you tend to have more empathy for your parents because for the first time you are able to fully understand who they are and why they are how they are. Only after 30 did I see more of my parents within myself than ever, I am more clear on what traits and habits I have from my mom, as well as the ones that I have from my dad and personally, I find it all hilarious. I know understand the importance of their experience and wisdom and I approach them (most times) in this manner.

6. Your relationship with your friends will change: Approaching 30s definitely marks an important crossroad in your life, but guess what? It's probably happening to your friends as well. While you struggle to get your life together your friends may also be struggling in different ways with their own challenges. Usually around this time, you will identify the few people that are significant to you and you and your time will be spent connected to these individuals. All of the other miscellaneous friends will still be around but your circle of favorite people will be well defined and effort has to be put out to maintain these important relationships.

7. Your confidence will show up and out for you: While this one thing may occur early, mid or late 30's a noticeably more confident you will show up. You no longer need the type of validation that drove you in your 20s. Your goals are different, your outlook on life is different and most important - you are learning to love and trust yourself. I enjoy doing things for myself,  I don't mind being alone or trying things alone, I used to think that made me special until 30 when I discovered what balance was, I then learned that even though you can do things alone, it doesn't mean you should. I have been through enough situations where I can now trust my judgement even when others don't and I am mentally prepared to accept failure because sometimes failure happens, and you just have to move on. 

8. You will become more aware of your financial health:  In your 30s specific words become more important than the norm to you, words such as retirement, investment and savings, can spark a 1-hour long conversation with friends or even with strangers. This is the time to put your finger on your financial pulse to evaluate if everything is working and working efficiently. This is the age where we begin to have ideas about how we can maximize wealth, whether this means Investing in the stock market, properties, or even by simply getting a second source of income. I like to think that  most decisions made in your 30s will affect the rest of your life. 

9. You prefer a more quiet environment: Have you ever ran home from work just to get home to your quiet space? I have had days where I consciously decide not to turn on my TV but just wander around my apartment in silence. I remember the days when I used to play my music super loud and pretend I was the best DJ blasting the hottest tunes now my tolerance for extra loud music is very low unless I choose to go somewhere with loud music. I just need to hear myself think and its hard to do this in a boisterous place. 

10. You will start living the life that you want:  Fear will always be a part of life and people that tell you that you can completely conquer all fears are lying everyone is afraid of something or afraid of losing something. I think the best way to deal with fear as a normal person is to identify it, then accept it. Once you have accepted your fear, just move forward with courage and the understanding that you will never be without fear but it doesn't have to take the lead.- put it in the back seat and tell it to shut up, it will soon speak again, but its ok to give it the silent treatment.

Once your fear has been silenced you can now review your life with a free mind and try to do the things you've always wanted to try, this will then have a positive effect on your goals, and your life in general, you can start living the life that you want.  Welcome to your 30s ~